It's not like I enjoy being an extremely lazy person, it's the way I've been manufactured as a human being. A message I received today: "What you doin tonight, wanna come hang at indro?" Brilliant spelling, I know. After contemplating pretending my phone was dead, cursing the fact that I have a phone in the first place and replying "Maybe. I'm at a friend's place. I'll text you if I'm coming later," I realised that I didn't even think a second before lying, but nor does anyone when they get that message. You're not a friends house, you're not at a party, you're not helping your mother or visiting your grandmother in hospital, you're at home, eating chips and watching Dreamcatcher for fucks sake. So I searched for my phone. 2.5 meters away. Why? Grabbed it and pained my thumbs into typing: "Not really I'm just at home eating and watching movies. Sorry! Maybe another time." To which I read a reply, a much deserved: "Bitch!" So next time someone texts you to come out, don't lie. Just tell them, you're a fat ass- and you're loving it.
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All my earthly love, Naushin.
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